Forget Being The Best You, Be The Most You Instead

Forget Being The Best You, Be The Most You Instead

I’m moving on from this¬†whole best self bit. It was one thing when Oprah was talking about it in her We’re giving away cars! voice. Bringing¬†in everyone from Bren√© Brown to Cameron Diaz to teach us how to maximize our potential, or be our¬†best selves. But that was ages ago. Oprah has since gone back to making movies, leaving the best self to fight for its relevance¬†in¬†every¬†self help site online. (Yet surprisingly it does not have its own Wikipedia page!)

But just because I’ve moved on from wanting to be my best self, please don’t think for one second I’ve given up on maximizing my potential. Au contraire! I have simply¬†pivoted my focus to¬†becoming my most self.

See, the best self is nice and all, but this is exactly it…it’s too nice! Where is the rest of me? The components that contribute to my best self are only nice. Or, in my case nice may not¬†be an appropriate attribute. I’d probably go more with strong, creative¬†and inspiring. So when I’m embodying these traits,¬†I’m at my best? Where’s the rest of me? I understand that edgy, impatient and judgmental aren’t exactly best-self¬†qualities, but they’re still me! I don’t want to act as if these parts don’t exist.

In Buddhism, the¬†negative states of mind have¬†antidotes.¬†Our work is to¬†transform these negative qualities rather than ignore them. To do this requires both practice and self awareness. So¬†when I’m feeling impatient, rather than act it out, I can acknowledge what’s happening and practice more acceptance. This is how to be the most me. I must own my sh!t.

Also, our genius usually lies in our eccentricities which may not be deemed best self material. My edginess can easily be seen as¬†restlessness or impatience.¬†But it’s also the foundation for my creative nature. It keeps me on my toes and in touch with¬†fresh ideas.

So instead of striving to be your best self, consider embodying your most self. Start to see your quirks as strengths, and keep practicing so all parts of who you are — the good, the weird and the ugly — can coexist in balanced harmony.

 
 

     

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4 Comments

  1. girlgatheringwisdom@gmail.com' Girl Gathering Wisdom says:

    Well, Hallelujah!!!! Finally…….. an original honest self help teacher!!!
    I got over the BMS* years ago (* Best Me Syndrome). We all work hard each day in our own unique capacity.
    I agree with you, Elysha………..look me over…….see what you see and what you get…….if you can’t handle this person….please move on ’cause I’m not the one for you.
    My quirks are not weakness nor mean. They are a slice of the pie chart that is me.
    Thank you!

  2. Yes, exactly! Take me or leave – I am who I am. Such wisdom in your comment…thank you for sharing it here, GGW.

  3. hello@carleehebert.com' carleehebert says:

    I love your thoughts on this topic! It’s such a small shift in mindset, but I can see how it can make a big difference! I’m a college student and I’m minoring in psychology so the way we think has always interested me! http://carleehebert.com/

  4. I agree that a small shift in mindset can make a huge difference in how we view our worlds. Thanks for commenting!

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