I’m not saying that it happens to everyone.
It’s just that shut down syndrome seems to be very real. And it hits most people sometime on their way to adulthood. Last night I saw it crystal clear — the true free fall of emotions before shut down syndrome kicks in.
G and I were watching Charlotte’s Web. The sweet tale of a friendship between Wilbur the pig and Charlotte, the spider. The movie moved along with all its child friendly attributes. Until we got to the part — the so sad second when dear Charlotte dies.
G lost it. She went totally hysterical, overwhelmed with sorrow.
Okay, let me just say that my daughter is definitely known to drag out her moment. She easily carries on with the tears well after we’ve solved her situation (ordering band-aids by the bulk is a huge help in these times). But this was different. It wasn’t a little boo-boo that brought the tears. It was real, earned sadness with a touch of true melancholy to fuel the fire.
And I couldn’t be more proud! My almost 5 year old baby is in touch. She’s connected to her soul. She allowed her feelings to move freely. By the end of the movie she’d found her calm. Cleansed by emotion. And ready for bed.
Wow — when was the last time I let it go like that? If only it could be so simple…
Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could get back in touch with that? To allow ourselves to not bottle it up until we explode? Your daughter sounds awesome.
Jenny, I completely understand what you are saying. Somehow we’ve all learned to shut down, or put our feelings away without letting them show. Then it becomes increasingly difficult to access them, or let them go. So that’s when an explosion occurs. Thank you for your kind comments.
As a formerly-sensitive child, I think the shutdown started for me when I became overwhelmed by all the sadness I saw around me…books like Charlotte’s Web, images of children starving in National Geographic, road-kill on the drive home from school. I didn’t know how to filter out my feelings from others and took on WAY too much! Great post making me think this morning!
Monk-Monk, I think this is what happened with my daughter last night. And I’ve seen it in her before. A total overwhelming of the senses that leads to confusion then ultimately sadness. I only hope she can continue to filter her sensitivity through productive and meaningful channels. Thank You so much for your comments.
I am so glad you’re a mama that’s aware of this! Having conversations and even reading things like the Highly Sensitive Child, and linking up with other empathic people can be helpful! I didn’t realize anyone was like me until I met my massage therapist in my 20’s and we had SO many similar stories of just feeling overwhelmed as kids that we shut down or had it manifest as anxiety! I wish my parents would have been intuitive and seen that in me 🙂
It’s challenging on so many levels to stay open and patient in parenting…with moments like watching Charlotte’s Web last night, and your comments today — I feel inspired to keep at it. Thank YOU!
Adore this post beyond words – I call it a ‘vault moment’ – thank you for sharing.
Helen, You are so sweet. A vault moment, indeed. We never know when they’ll come up, but we’ve gotta take the leap! xoxo
Many people are being through the closed sacral chakra syndrome – I prefer to say it like that! – by bottling up the emotions as if the emotions will destroy you. Then it comes one day that everything explodes. In my opinion, this is the worst moment ever.
I hear you, Ruby. One of the solutions, in my opinion, is to release through movement. We carry so much of this stuff in our bodies. Thanks for chiming in!
I just love children’s ability and freedom to express raw emotion. I feel so many times we get taught to hide our feelings, be composed, etc. that it isn’t that we don’t feel emotion as that we just don’t know how to show it. Good for her.
Jess, Thanks for your comment. I agree with you. I think we are definitely taught to hide our emotions. But I’m curious if it’s the hiding our feelings that ultimately leads to a shutdown.
What a great blog!! I’d love it if you could share some inspiration on my blog!! 🙂