I’d like to blame my perfectionist attitude on my moon in virgo.
Or even my job which often requires a perfect picture.
But really, my inclination towards perfectionism is part of my DNA.
I’m well aware of it within my own stuff.
But what happens when it carries over into my parenting?
Over the weekend, M was working on an informational writing piece for school. He asked me to help with revisions.
First off, let me state that my impatience doesn’t bide well with homework. Sometimes I find myself gnawing at the gums so I don’t blurt out what I’m really thinking.
Like when GL asks me what 1 + 5 equals.
Or how do you spell November?
Look at the calendar.
But back to editing M’s writing.
He read me his intro… then asked –is it good?
What are you trying to say?
And I think you used the word game too many times. What’s another word to explain what they play in the World Cup?
It went like this through chapters 1 -4. Finally, at chapter 5, I heard myself. My perfectionist tendencies were taking over M’s homework! No matter what he wrote, I was going to find the flaw.
I believe in pushing our kids to excellence. But when is it enough? When will I see they’ve met their capabilities (or even surpassed them)?
As M finished reading his piece to me, I realized it was really good. Some sentences weren’t perfect. But they didn’t have to be. He’s made so much progress with is writing. I was proud.
When I find myself trying to be perfect, I repeat this mantra:
Let Go. Let Go. Let Go.
I also try to remember perfection isn’t real.
Our individualism is what sets up apart, makes us special. M calls them his details (referring to his shark teeth).
And those sentences in his writing piece– that’s his voice. His authentic expression.
Of course, I want him to be his best. But even more so, I want him to be who he is.
How do your high standards seep into parenting?