Why You Can’t Figure Out Or Define Your Style

Why You Can’t Figure Out Or Define Your Style

There are two main reasons that you’re struggling to figure out or define your style. Either you’ve lost touch with the part of yourself that cares, and you’ve given up. Or you’re in transition, and your life looks different.

It could be that you’ve gone through a divorce, your kids have gotten older and either left, or they’re more independent and don’t need you as much. Or you’ve gotten a new job, role, or job loss. It could also be a physical transition with your body —you’ve either gained or lost weight.

Whichever of these reasons you relate to, here’s what not to do when you’re struggling like this. Don’t look outside yourself. That approach won’t serve you best.

So instead of turning to your social media, other women or Hollywood to tell you what to wear, look within yourself. Your personal style is an extension of your personal growth. You need to look inside before reflecting out.

Watch the video where I share the primary building blocks to figure out or define your style.

And read on to learn more about defining your style.

Styling The In-Between Is Never A Good Look

As your life changes due to a new identity, your style must change too. And in that transition there is always that moment (which can drag out for months, even years) when you’re in-between.

The old you is no more. You can’t go back there. Yet you aren’t settled into the new you. So you have nothing to wear that feels right!

Your style becomes a lackluster expression of who you used to be with no real sense of the person you’re becoming.

Your Authentic Expression

Since your style is your way of being, why not make it come from the core? Rather than following what others say about how you should look or be, stick with what you know. Because the fact is, the more real you can be in who you are and how you look, the easier it will be to share it with the world. It’s you. And it looks fabulous.

So to fully step into the woman you are becoming – wearing the right outfits and all – there are 3 primary building blocks to understand.

To help you understand how to look your best, here are the four foundational elements that allow you to define your style.

The Primary Building Blocks To Define Your Style

1. Self Awareness

By knowing who you are, you’re better equipped to state yourself style wise. On one level, it’s knowing your preferences – what you love and what you dislike- which shape your taste. But on a deeper level, it’s about knowing what makes you feel good, and how to access that. Your style is the outer reflection of the inner so the more you are in touch with how you want to be, the easier it is to dress for that.

2. Letting Go

In personal development, the idea of letting go gets compared to the peeling of an onion. You keep shedding the outer layer – your outdated beliefs and habits – until eventually you reach the core. This translates to style by letting go of your outdated clothing. As you age, your tastes will shift and change. And often we don’t allow our closets to keep up with the change. Our wardrobes become this holding tank of all we used to be, what we hoped we would become and more. By letting go of what no longer serves, we clear the space to allow room for who we are today, and for what’s true at the core.

3. Taking Ownership

No matter what size, shape, or age you are… when you own your style, you’ll always stand out. In fact, I’ve seen women wear outrageous outfits which border on ridiculous, but because they own it…they look great. That’s because WHAT you wear isn’t nearly as important as HOW you wear it.

What’s the attitude behind the outfit? When you relay a message of confidence – people pay attention. Because who doesn’t want some of that? Having confidence means you don’t care about being in style. You’ve created your own style. And you love how it looks.

If you need help figuring out or defining your style, book a complimentary style clarity call. We will discuss what’s really holding you back in your clothes, and how to dress best for the woman you’re becoming.

Elysha Lenkin
I help women over 40 feel unforgettable in their clothes.

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